Monday, March 31, 2008

How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take In A Fight

28



If I knew more martial arts and had a better reach the number is probably around 50.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Frost Armwrestling Fulgrum

I do not believe I will ever be satisfied. Not with work. Not with my relationships. Not with life in general. Where this attitude will lead me remains to be seen. Thus far my score card is a dozen failed relationships, and almost twice as many partners, yet none of them has been able to keep my attention for very long. My employment history began almost fifteen years ago yet there is nothing in it which I would want to consider career defining. This thought is all the more startling when I look back and realize how much my current job has so clearly dictated my life. Then there are moments such as this one, where I am supposed to be diligently working on the tasks in which I receive a salary for and yet here I am writing. Like any type of purging - puking, shitting, sleeping, or fucking - this task above all else must be done before anything else to cleanse the consciousness and allow my soul to find the solace to keep working. So here I am typing out a stream of consciousness rant to sooth my confused psyche.

What bothers me the most is the underlying thought that in the end this all futile and perhaps my life would be better served escaping all of this. Flying on the plane today I was surrounded by folks living the lifestyle of lemmings. Get up, go to work, come home, spend time with the family, and then repeat for the rest of your life. When I think of them I feel incrediblu sorry for them. My God if I look back ten years from now and I am living that same lifestyle - dictated, predictable, ordinary - then fucking kill me right now. And then it hits me: that is the thought that will save you. As long as the fire burns within and I constantly seeking the road less traveled then my life will be far from ordinary, completely unpredictable, and will only be dictacted to me periodically.

But here is the rub. On some level I crave the lemming lifestyle. The security of a home and warmth of family will end up being the last uncharted territory for me. After I have base-jumped Mount Rushmore and swam with whale sharks the most challenging task will be that of father and husband. Thus the inner battle continues on.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Random Thoughts On Gov. Paterson's Press Confernce

1. Not again.
2. It's only been a week since Elliot Spitzer admitted having sex with an escort and here we are again - another news conference with a politician admitting he was having an affair.
3. At least he is doing it the right way. No pun intended, but the premptive approach is refreshing.
4. It worked so well you can sense the press giving a collective shrug as if to say 'You called a press conference for this.'
5. They seem more interested in finding out if he either used state or campaign funds or if someone got a promotion out of it. Both cases was a no.
6. Favorite quote: "Governor what else are we going to find out about your life that we don't want to know." His wife's smile at that statement was priceless.
7. She's kind of hot too.
8. A Governor that is legally blind and a player on top of it. He's got my vote.
9. Another difference between how Paterson handed this verses Spitzer - he actually allowed his wife to speak instead of simply standing there.
10. He's not used to dealing with the press yet.
11. He's especially not used to dealing with New York City press.
12. Quoted from a Daily News reporter: "Do you and your wife plan on remaining sexually faithfully to each other in the future."
13. He is not mentioning the fact that the Daily News approached him the day of his swearing in with what they had found out.
14. Governor Paterson's closing statement: "I want to thank all of you for giving me and Michelle the opportunity to address this situation."
15. Translation: "I want to thank that asshole from the Daily News for forcing me into this really uncomfortable and probably unnecessary situation."

For the full story and video of press conference visit the Daily News.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Because It Is That Good

Obama and Clinton have both been tiptoing over issue of race and sex the entire campaign. It has been the Pink Elephant sitting in the corner. What is interesting the consider is the domino effect that lead to this moment.

First there was the Geraldine Ferraro taking the low road after one quote was taken out of context. It is rather sad to watch someone who is considered a political pioneer digging themselves further and further into hole simply because they want to be right.



Then Fox News got a hold of footage of Reverend Wright. Since it is Fox News, specifically Shawn Hannity and Bill O'Reily, they choose the most inflametory statements possible. The fact that Reverend Wright is the minister of Obama made it newsworthy.



Kind of funny . . . Bill O'Reily warning about offensive material in the face of the spin and lies he tosses out everyday.

And since it encapsulates both of the problems here is another clip from The Daily Show.



The final domino fell today on CNN. Ignore the snippets the press has been pulling out from it. Watch the full video to really get the scope of the speech. This speech was a long time coming.



You can't deny it. It is really, really good. You just can not deny it.

I voted for Clinton in the primary. As much as I want her to win there is no way I could imagine her making a similar speech. Perhaps we are all soft from eight years of bumbling Bush speeches. He said he was a unifier until the questions became too difficult and he decreed himself the Decider. After that it was impossible to get a straight answer from the man. When he was actually talking that it. It is not hard to imagine a similar posture taking over Clinton when the pressure starts to mount.

That is the point where I changed my mind. What is interesting to consider is this: when the pressure mounts Barack Obama has the resolve to handle those situations effectively because of our politely racist society. Hilary Clinton does have the experience and the extra heavy weight of being a woman in this political boys club. John McCain may have endured being a POW and is currently battling the anger of many conservative critics to his campaign.

Regardless both of these candidates have not had to deal with a lifetime of racism. Combine this with two generations passing on stories of abuses far worse than trouble getting a cab or someone walking to the other side of the street to avoid you and you have someone who can handle almost anything. Sounds kind of strange coming from a cracker like me, but it's true. I know it's true and so do you.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Burning Man 2008 Art Projects

When the Burning Man organization announced the theme for this year I was less than enthused. The prospect of becoming excited about a festival and community I loved to belong to due to their creative spirit is challenging when the best theme the leaders of this mass gatherer can come up with is "The American Dream." It was discouraging.

Since then my standard response when someone would ask if I was going was "If I can afford it." In the back of my mind I knew that I would end up going, but it almost felt like an obligation. Then an email announcing the arts grants arrived. The funded projects are:

Altered State, by Kate Raudenbush, New York, NY
http://www.kateraudenbush.com (Click on New: Altered State)

Amazing Jellyfish from Y12K, by Jared Gallardo, Salt Lake City, UT http://www.jellyfish12000.com/jf12k_2008.pdf

Basura Sagrada, by Shrine, Tuktuk, and the Basura Sagrada Collaboratory - Pasadena, CA and Portland,

Bummer, by Myk Henry, New York, NY/Geneva, Switzerland
"Bummer" is a super size Humvee measuring 38 feet long x 18 feet wide x 16 feet high. Half of the Hummer will be painted in military khaki and the other half a bright sporty color. This sculpture epitomizes this country's obsession with power and the Jekyll and Hyde nature of the American dream.

Celtic Forest, by Laura Kimpton, Bob Hoffman and Jeff Schomberg, Nicasio, CA

Chasing the American Dream, by Hedy Siroco, Wynnewood PA

Checkpoint DreamYourTopia, by DADARA, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Drum Wagons, by Quill Hyde, Brooklyn NY

Elevation, by Michael Christian, Berkeley, CA
Elevation is a fully climbable sculpture constructed of winding tube steel ladders that elevate to a seated perch for one, on its peak. The height of the piece will be 56 feet.

Fleeble Flobbler, by Charlie Smith and Jaime Laudet, Atlanta, GA

Free Flight, by David Boyer, Reno NV
"Free Flight" is a sculpture that celebrates the ultimate freedom, the escape from the bounds of earth. Consisting of six wind-driven kinetic birds, this sculpture is in constant flux as the winds of the Black Rock grow, recede, shift and change.

Hand of Man, by Christian Ristow, Taos, New Mexico
http://www.christianristow.com/handofmanproposal.html

Harmonic Geometry, by Glenn Easley and Rikk Carey, Vashon, WA

Hydrogen Economy, by False Profit Labs, San Francisco, CA

Illusion, by Benson Trent, Provo, UT

Ketchup, by Bruce Bender, Marshall, NC

Legends of America, by James Cole, Auburn, CA

Lepidodgera, by Rachel Norman, Mike Thielvoldt, Lira Filippini, and Jake Haskell, Palo Alto, CA

Man Gwyn Man Draw?, by Defaid Daf a Joe, Wales

McEnlightenment, by Michael Brown and Violet McKeon, San Diego, CA

Mutopia, by the Flaming Lotus Girls, San Francisco, CA

Net Work, by David Bengali, New York, NY
Nowhere Ominibus, by Pete Johnson, London, UK

Pictures of You – Images from Iran, by Yechdosay Chahar, Crested Butte, CO http://www.picturesofyouiran.org/burningman

Pool, by Jen Lewin, Boulder, CO

Popaver Rubrum Giganticum, by Gary Miller, Wyndmoor, PA
Popaver rubrum giganteum (giant red poppy) consists of three hundred 10' tall poppies in various shades of red. The design allows for variation in the layout and placement of the individual elements.
Pswarm, by the Dept. of Spontaneous Combustion, Oakland, CA

Pyrocardium, by False Profit Labs, San Francisco, CA

Shiva Vista, by Dave King, Reno, NV

Shrine of Fortuna, by Art Farm, Graton, CA

Shrine to the Oven Mitt, by Steven Goodman, Mountain View, CA

Spaghetti West Ten, by the Mutoid Waste Co., London, UK
A 12' long, by 15' tall motorized apocalyptic horse, part beast, part rust-ravaged machine, pulls a punked-out parody of a pioneer's covered wagon, which contains a stage for musical acts and performance.

Swarm, by Michael Prados, San Francisco, CA

Tantalus, by Peter Hudson, San Francisco, CA
Tantalus is Peter's fourth large scale zoetrope. Participants must engage a laboriously intense mechanism that puts a modern spin on the myth of Tantalus while reflecting on the seemingly dwindling fruits of such labor.

The Cave, by Chassy Cleland and Henya Emmer, New York, NY

Wheel of Thwarted Ambition, by Anton Viditz-Ward, Telluride, CO
This kinetic fire sculpture represents change, rebirth and creation. Driven by a hand crank, a wheel containing buckets of burning wood is spun around, creating a ring of fire and producing lots of fireflies.

You are All so Many of Me, by Michael Emery, Santa Cruz, CA
A multitude of small cut mirrors provides the opportunity for both literal and metaphorical reflection. During the day, the viewer perceives a cubist self-portrait smiling back. At certain points during the night this reflection will be enhanced with a variety of images projected by LCD upon the mirrors. The viewer is invited to interact with images of fire and water as well as a racial/gender spectrum of other humans. The viewer is invited to contemplate, and perhaps to help create the American Dream of FREEDOM FOR ALL.
ZsuZsu, by Mister Jellyfish, Sparks, NV

Ask me if I'm going now?

Friday, March 7, 2008

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I Am Not Patrick Bateman.

Every once in a while I will thumb through the "Best of" on Craigslist. One particular post struck a cord with me.

Best of Craigslist: The girls I have dated

Now before anyone gets the wrong idea I haven't done most of the actions the original posted wrote about. For example he appears to have never had a healthy relationship with anyone. Period.

But I know how he feels in regards to how some girls, and eventually women, have fit into my life. Some are a temporary distraction from other thoughts swirling in your mind. Some are just for fun, never amounting to anything other then sex. Some of them teach you things you never would have realized about yourself and the world around you. And others end up ripping your heart to shreads.

Fortunately, and this is where my own experience takes a dramatic turn from the original posters, some of them turn into friends. After all the shit, stress, sobbing, sex, and strife you get to watch and help each other change for the better. So if I wrote one these postings myself it would probably sound like some strange, fucked-up Hallmark card:

You were absolutely stellar lover. I am sure most of prowess and abandon had to do with the issues surrounding your father. After each sweat-drenched session I secretly thanked him. Watching you get your life back together has been wonderfully exciting. I hope it doesn't dull the edge you had in the bedroom. That would be a shame.

If not for those brave souls, and the ones who are no longer around, I would probably have wriyten something eerily similar to the girls I have dated.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Uncle Ben's Deep Fried Advice - Dating (Part 2)

Dear Uncle Ben,

You were right. Musicians only care about their gigs. Even when they are the ones that mention "call me if you're in town and we can hang out." and when you do they don't answer, so you leave a voicemail. In the voicemail you even mention that you have a birthday present for them(NON SEXUAL--I know what you're thinking). Then they text message you, without the balls to reject you in person saying they are "heading to my dad's place.

"AAAARGGGHHHHHH!!!!
BLLLAAAHHHHH!!!
WHHYYYY??

Why even suggest a possible meeting if you really didn't want one?

Sincerely,
Agravated

Dear Agravated,

What can I say other than I told you so. Instead of dancing around pointing my finger and laughing at you I will repost the advice Nadia left as a comment the last time we talked about the "sweet, cute, musician." As a frame of reference Nadia has lived and worked within the Austin music scene for the last 10 years. In that time she has dated and slept with her fair share of singers, guitarist, bassists, and drummers. The lady know your pain all to well.

"DON'T DATE MUSICIANS. Seriously! You can bone a musician all day long, but [a] possible relationship is more work than what it's worth. Have your fun on the side with the least amount of expectation and you'll have a great time."

If you want to peg an section of Creatives to date try writers. We have our own quirks and fidelity issues; the latter of which revolve around our craving for living life to the fullest. Fortunately when we do lie, and we do, it is believable and credible. If it's not then at least it's entertaining.

Take that "sweet, cute, musician" down from the shelf and let's relable him "stupid, flakey, musician." Now lock his ass in a cabinet you don't go into very often. After you've locked the door and turn away for it and repeat his new name one more time. Alright Agravated say it with me:

"Stupid"

"Flakey"

"Musician"

There now don't you feel better. If you don't mabe this will help.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Digging Through 50 hours of music

In a way this a follow up to the post regarding how technology has changed the way we listen to music. The music files for my music subscription service (Regrettably, it's Yahoo.) were overtaking my main hard drive. In in effort to rectify this I situation have been sorting through the downloaded files. At first there was over 60 hours of music and roughly 100o files.

Some eliminations were pretty easy. How the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir ended up on my hard drive is beyond me. Ditto for Yes U's Devastations and the most boring ambient trance ever courtesy of one Steve Roach. Other deletions were a surprise. Listening to Gun's and Roses absolutely horrible Live Era 87-93 all that cam to mind was what a pretentious, grandstanding ass Axl Rose was. From all reports he still is, but this gem of a set was a stark reminder. If you have this album and want a perfect example of the train wreck that Rose was steering listen to Dust and Bones. It is a excellent reflection of what Guns and Roses was slowly becoming: bombastic, out of sync, and overshadowed by the antics of an out of control front man.

The cool part of cleaning house is coming across those things you forgot a while back. Head Automatica's "Beating Heart Baby" and "Please Please Please" were the perfect antidote to the sluggish feeling that had descended upon my evening. Even though he looks like he should be at the local biker bar, Tommy Sunshine crafts amazing dance tracks from the Pitchfork approved artists. His double disc Ultra Rock Remixed has survived the deletion or file transfer thus far. The unfortunate aspect of Seattle's Blues Scholars is that very few people are aware of combination of political and social commentary they bring to strong beats. These guys are what is missing from hip-hop today. Then there is the old reliable of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Bands and their stellar Magic. Among the favorites already present in my mind these shone out to surprise me one more time. And I am only on the J's now.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Dante's Inferno Test

I really appreciate quizzes that are more cerebral than the something like "Which Brittney Are You." Turns out I am destine for the Second Level of Hell. Unless of course I change my ways.


The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test