Sounding Like My Dad

My Dad is an old school gearhead. He grew up getting his hands dirty repairing everything GM and Chrysler produced from 1950's to the late 1980's. At that point the overall mechanics at automobiles changed significantly as new sensors added to the layers of hoses, wiring, and pipes that were already in place. One of his favorite rants now is how complex cars have gotten.

"If it's something more than changing a belt or a hose or the oil you have to be a fricken' scientist," he would commonly gripe while sucking back a cold one.

My perspective was that these advances helped mechnanics find out what was wrong with your car faster and improved the driving experience for consumers. That was until I needed to change the spark plugs on my Jeep.

The last time I needed to do this I was driving a different vehicle and the process was pretty simple.
1. Gently deattach the spark plug wire from the plug.
2. Remover the spark plug from the engine block.
3. Insert new spark plug.
4. Replace spark plug wire.

I was expecting much of the same until I did a quick search for some basic instructions. This is what I found:

Removing plugs - 3.7L engine

Each individual spark plug is located under each ignition coil. Each individual ignition coil must be removed to gain access to each spark plug. The coil fits into machined holes in the cylinder head. A mounting stud/nut secures each coil to the top of the intake manifold. The bottom of the coil is equipped with a rubber boot to seal the spark plug to the coil. Inside each rubber boot is a spring. The spring is used for a mechanical contact between the coil and the top of the spark plug. These rubber boots and springs are a permanent part of the coil and are not serviced separately. An o-ring is used to seal the coil at the opening into the cylinder head.

1. Remove necessary air filter tubing at throttle body.

2. Prior to removing ignition coil, spray compressed air around coil base at cylinder head.

3. Depending on which coil is being removed, the throttle body air intake tube or intake box may need to be removed to gain access to coil.

4. Disconnect electrical connector from coil by pushing downward on release lock on top of connector and pull connector from coil.

5. Clean area at base of coil with compressed air before removal.

6. Remove coil mounting nut from mounting stud.

7. Carefully pull up coil from cylinder head opening with a slight twisting action.

8. Remove coil from vehicle.

9. Prior to removing spark plug, spray compressed air into cylinder head opening. This will help prevent foreign material from entering combustion chamber.

10. Remove spark plug from cylinder head using a quality socket with a rubber or foam insert. Also check condition of ignition coil o-ring and replace as necessary.

Installing plugs - 3.7L engine

Special care should be taken when installing spark plugs into the cylinder head spark plug wells. Be sure the plugs do not drop into the plug wells as electrodes can be damaged.

Always tighten spark plugs to the specified torque. Over tightening can cause distortion resulting in a change in the spark plug gap or a cracked porcelain insulator.

1. Start the spark plug into the cylinder head by hand to avoid cross threading.

2. Tighten spark plugs to 20 Ft. lbs. torque.

3. Before installing ignition coil(s), check condition of coil o-ring and replace as necessary. To aid in coil installation, apply silicone to coil o-ring.

4. Using compressed air, blow out any dirt or contaminants from around top of spark plug.

5. Position ignition coil into cylinder head opening and push onto spark plug. Do this while guiding coil base over mounting stud.

6. Install coil mounting stud nut.

7. Connect electrical connector to coil by snapping into position.

8. If necessary, install throttle body air tube.

All this to replace spark plugs? My Dad was right, cars are getting way to complex.

A Kitchen Sheds It's Skin

My current sea of change can be summed up in the following statement:

Our kitchen is clean.

I mean, really clean. It is so clean the thought of leaving even the smallest of crumbs is actually painful.

This would not be that big of deal until you consider the following image:


It is apple juice that got bored sitting unused in the fridge and decided to grow itself a friend. This photo was taken about a year ago. There are more photos of food that went polychromatic, but for some reason I can not find them. Perhaps that is best; some of them are quite disturbing.

What is more disturbing is that this was indicative of the level of lazy cleanliness that my housemates and I were used to. Reports, papers, and projects would take precedence over mundane kitchen chores. As long as the kitchen was functionally clean no one seemed to have a problem.

As nice as a spotless kitchen is it is a slap of reality symbolizing vacating my first steady home within the last ten year. After a mere two years here it is back to the nomadic wanderings that I was used to.

There are other more potent symbols that should have triggered this feeling. Such as loading all of my belongings into the 5' x 8' space and still having room left over. This did not bother me. Nor has the lack of any concrete plans following graduation.

As far as I know I am heading to LA. The length of stay and what I will be doing are still unknown, but that did bother me as much as clicking on the light for a midnight coffee fix and seeing this:


(Incidentally, the coffeemaker and toaster are mine. They are the last holdouts for packing my belongings. If I had packed them that area would be even emptier.)

What used to hold a well-used spice rack, a blender that was never really used, and various packages of garlic and ginger which were more often than not forgotten is now 409 christened white counter space.

All my life the kitchen has symbolized the heart of a home. This one was no exception. I learned how to actually enjoy vegetarian meals and how to grill a steak Argentinian style on those counters. It was also my refueling station when caffeine was the only solution to getting more done than time and the need for sleep would allow. It also served as the common area of the house, the one spot where conversation flowed among the smell of curry, pepper, butter, rosemary, and coffee.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a clean kitchen, but right now it feels sterile. In a way this makes sense, the last of the old housemates are on their way out and this is the prep for the new folks. The downside is that this sterility has also removed the kitchen's heart in the process. I just happen to be around to see it.

11 Famous People Who Were in the Completely Wrong Career at Age 30

1. Sylvester Stallone, deli counter attendant. After getting no career traction as an actor in his 20s, Stallone attacked his 30s like any 5'3 man should: He wrote a movie where he was an all-American hero with unbelievable success in sports.
   
   That movie was "Rocky"... he banged out the "Rocky" screenplay in three days, in between working at a deli counter and as a movie theater usher... and it launched his career with an Academy Award for Best Picture.
   
   
2. Andrea Bocelli, lawyer. He'd loved music and singing his whole life... but didn't really see (no pun intended) it as a career possibility. So, after school, he got a law degree at the University of Pisa. At age 30 he was working as a lawyer and moonlighting in a piano bar for fun and extra cash. He didn't catch a break as a singer until 1992, at age 34.
   
   
3. Martha Stewart, stockbroker. When she was 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker, no doubt learning all about finance and the ethics involved therein. Two years later she and her husband purchased a beat-down farmhouse in Connecticut... she led the restoration... transitioned into a domestic lifestyle... and parlayed that into her evil, evil career.
   
   
4. Mao Tse-Tung, elementary school principal. At age 30, Mao was involved in communism... he was a young star of the Chinese Communist Party... but didn't realize it could be a career. (Probably didn't see communism as being very lucrative...?)
   
   Instead, he was working as the principal of an elementary school. Where, no doubt, hall passes were decadent. Four years later he started a communist group that eventually became the Red Army and put him in power.
   
   
5. Julia Child, government spy. Absolutely the wrong career. At age 30, Child wasn't cooking... she was working for the U.S. government as a spy. She went on clandestine missions to China and Sri Lanka (which, at the time, was called Ceylon) to get intelligence documents to agents in the field. She didn't enter cooking school until age 36.
   
   How it took until now to make a movie about her life (it comes out in like a week, with Meryl Streep) is mind blowing. They made a movie about the life of MC Hammer. They made a sitcom out of the Geico cavemen. I mean... someone bought the rights to make a movie out of "Where's Waldo?" You're telling me Waldo's more interesting than female spy-turned-TV cooking superstar? It's "Alias" meets "Top Chef"! Just because Waldo traveled to a bunch of exotic places where he managed to mingle with lots of other people wearing deceptive red-and-white striped shirts doesn't make him movie-worthy.
   
   
6. James Joyce, singing. By 30, Joyce was writing... just not getting published. So to make ends meet he reviewed books, taught and, weirdly, made a lot of money thanks to his gorgeous tenor singing voice. (He was also a raging alcoholic, which isn't financially lucrative until you become an author and can parlay those drunken antics into stories. Ask Hemingway. Or James Frey, sort of.)
   
   Joyce finally got his first book, "Dubliners", published at age 32, which launched his career as, arguably, one of the most successful authors of all time.
   
   So I've decided to co-opt his style and will write the next point on this list completely in the manner of James Joyce.
   
   
7. Colonel Sanders, tons of blue collar jobs. When yes Harland Sanders was turning 30 yes he was still yes switching from one yes career yes to yes another yes: Steamboat pilot (yes!), insurance salesman (yes!), farmer (yes!), railroad fireman (yes!), gigolo (no!). He didn't yes start cooking chicken until he was 40 yes and yes, yes, yes didn't start franchising until, yes, age 65.
   
   
8. Michael Jordan, baseball player At age 30, Michael Jordan was the biggest star in the world, had just led the Chicago Bulls to three straight NBA championships... and promptly quit to become a minor league baseball later.
   
   This remains one of the most suspicious moves any celebrity has made in our lifetimes. If this happened today, the Internet would actually blow up with people debating the real reason why Jordan quit. The NBA secretly suspended him for gambling but couldn't afford to admit he'd gambled on their games? Scottie Pippen took photos of him having gay sex with Bill Wennington and threatened to blackmail Jordan unless he stepped away? He killed a man? It's all equally plausible (especially the Wennington thing).
   
   Anyway, I included this on the list because it shows that even Michael Jordan was still searching for the right career at age 30.
   
   
9. Rodney Dangerfield, aluminum siding salesman. He started doing stand-up at age 19... then gave up on it in his mid-20s.. He started working as an acrobatic diver (true... and wow, I never realized that was the influence for the Triple Lindy)... and then as an aluminum siding salesman. He didn't start getting back into comedy until he was 40.
   
   
10. Harrison Ford, carpenter. When Ford was 30, he starred in "American Graffiti"... which was a huge hit. But he got paid a pittance for acting in it, decided he was never going to make it as an actor, and quit the business to get back into the more financially dependable world of construction.
    
    Four years later, he met up with George Lucas again (for those who don't know, Lucas directed "Graffiti") and Lucas cast him as Han Solo.
    
    
11. Jesus, carpenter. At age 30, Jesus finally stopped doing carpentry and started performing miracles. See, Harrison Ford and Jesus have more in common than you'd think.

Other people who made their mark in a new career after their 30th birthday:

John Grisham. A lawyer and lawmaker for 10 years, Grisham did not publish his first book until he was 33.

Reimagine the Zodiac Cancer

The date of my birth resides in the most ill conceived sign of the Zodiac calendar. That would be the sign of Cancer. The name itself has a negative connotation. Cancer, the disease that slowly turns your cells against you wherein the only "cure" is to flood your body with radiation. While this is an apt metaphor for anyone who has become romantically entangled with my fellow tribe members, it is not a name to be proudly associated.

Then there is the animal assigned to Cancer, the crab. It is the most pathetic of the Zodiac creatures. In Greek mythology Hera had sent a crab to distract Hercules from defeating the Hydra. The crab scuttled over and nipped at the mighty Hercules' ankles who promptly turned around and crushed the crab with foot. Even before being assigned to the Zodiac Cancer was already being picked on by the bigger guys.

As a reward for its bravery, Hera gave the Cancer a place in the constellations. The irony of this astrological choice is that the constellation of Cancer does not actually cross into the night sky until August.

Whenever someone, including myself, states they are a Cancer the image that pops into my mind is a diseased crab scuttling around trying desperately not to get stepped on. Recently that image was replaced though.

A couple of months ago I was killing time wandering through the action figure aisle of Toys R Us. Among the usual rows of WWE, Star Wars, and the most recently blockbuster tie-ins was the most unusual action I had seen in quite a while.


Picking it up from the shelf I noticed that this creation was from McFarlane toys. Considering the source it didn't surprise me much that this toy was pretty scary looking.

The series name on the packaging was "Warrior of the Zodiac." This odd and rather frighening monster was supposed to represent the sign of Cancer. I looked at it again.


If Maximus from Gladiator and Ghengis Khan were used to genetically modify a crab this is what would happen.


Leave it to the slightly twisted minds of McFarlane to design a Cancer that will give your children nightmares. Finally, a image of the Zodiac sign that crushes the pathetic scuttling crab that is normally used.

So I dedicate this post to my fellow Cancers. The next time you need tougher image of our animal assigned to our time in the Sun and the Moon remember this image.

This is what a Cancer looks likes.

Olbermann Fox New Rant

Nothing really new here if you pay attention to how much of Fox News is actually infotainment. Olbermann does make some valid points though.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Perhaps it would be easier if Fox News just came out and stated how much they hated the Obama administration. All their efforts of attempting to appear "fair and balanced" completely distort what true journalists do.

Signs You Live In Stockton

Jogging on the levee yesterday I spotted a stocky Hispanic dude walking with a cane. What caught my attention was that he was moving a little to well to have actually needed it. There was none of the shuffle that most of the people I have observed walking with canes.

As I got closer it was easy to assume the guy was one of the many "retired" gang members in Stockton. They are a common fixture on the pedestrian/bike path that runs along the top of the levee. He had similar traits to the other ones I have jogged by: tats running up the arms and around the neck and a swagger combined with a tension in the shoulders. Even though he was simply taking a walk on a beautiful day he still looked ready to spring into action.

As I approached him I noticed his cane was a nine iron. His right hand grasped the big silver head of the club. Casually swinging the grip into his left hand it became apparent that he did not regard this as a walking stick. It was the perfectly legal and reasonable defensive weapon to carry it you were trying to keep younger trouble at bay.

"Good day to play golf," I said jogging by. The closest golf course was five miles away.

His posture relaxed as a smile lit his face up. "Yeah, it is a good day," he said quietly.

I Wish Silvio Berlusconi Was In Office Here

Or at least I wish some of our elected officials could be as unintentionally entertaining as the Italian Prime Minister.

If you are not familiar with Silvio Berlusconi imagine a combination of Hugh Hefner, Bill Clinton, Rupert Murdock, and Roberto Benigni. Before becoming Prime Minister in 1994, the billionaire Berlusconi was the owner of a media empire that included television, radio, and print publications that accounted for half of the Italian media.

Such control is helpful within your own realm. Unfortunately El Pais in Spain does not fall under Berlusconi's control and have published a series of photos from one of his parties at his villa in Sardinia. According the TimesOnline the photos show:

Mr Berlusconi accompanied by at least five women in the grounds of the villa; the Italian leader with a young woman in jeans and a pink top; two women, both topless, next to a whirlpool bath and a statue of a nude figure in a landscaped rocky scenery; a naked man with an unidentified woman on a sun-lounger by the side of a pool; and a woman in a red coat and jeans apparently being watched over by a man in a camouflage coat with an automatic gun.

What is interesting is not what the photos display but the reactions of Berlusconi. Berlusconi told an Italian radio station, “I am not frightened. These are innocent photos, there is no scandal, but there has been an aggressive intrusion into my private life."

The unidentified man turned out to be former Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek. Even though he admitted the photo was of him complained it had been doctored.

For more Berlusconi entertainment here are a series of gaffs complies by Time Magazine such as:

"I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I sacrifice myself for everyone."

"Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini used to send people on vacation in internal exile."

"Read The Black Book of Communism and you will discover that in the China of Mao, they did not eat children, but had them boiled to fertilize the fields."

Berlusconi made this remark at a 2006 election rally in a misguided attempt to defend himself against accusations that he once said communists in China eat children.

"I trust the intelligence of the Italian people too much to think that there are so many coglioni around who would vote against their own best interests."

The term coglioni literally means "testicles" in Italian and is used as a vulgar term to describe unintelligent people.

"Italy is now a great country to invest in...Today we have fewer communists and those who are still there deny having been one. Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries."

When asked by reporters about a proposal to deploy 300,000 troops to fight crime following a series of sexual assaults in Rome and other cities, Berlusconi responded, "We can't think of deploying a large force. We would have to send as many soldiers as there are beautiful girls. And I don't think we would manage."

EPA Reports Ethanol Crops Displace Climate Friendly Ones

Environmentalism has always seemed very fad based. Kind of like the hottest iPhone app, whatever is being touted as the newest, cleanest way to "be green" the environmental movement latches onto and runs with without examining the full scope of utilization. Biofuels are an excellent example. The lower emissions are fantastic, but not very many people seem to pay attention to what it takes to go from the ground to the tailpipe.

A new study just released by the EPA examines this process and compares it to the current standard of oil refinement.

Here is the short version courtesy of the Associated Press:

EPA: ethanol crops displaces climate-friendly ones

By H. JOSEF HEBERT

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Environmental Protection Agency says that corn ethanol — as made today — has a worse impact on climate than gasoline when land use changes are considered.

But EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson said Tuesday that future improvements in production technologies are expected to make ethanol and other biofuels more climate friendly than gasoline. The EPA, in a preliminary assessment of ethanol, said worldwide changes in land use must be considered when assessing ethanol's impact on climate change.

Some scientists say that by using more land to grow ethanol crops, there is an increase in greenhouse gases as vegetation that absorbs carbon is replaced.

Meanwhile, President Barack Obama issued a directive to find ways to get automakers to make more cars that can run on ethanol and to make ethanol more widely available at fueling stations.

The full report can be found on the EPA website. Interesting stuff from a federal agency.

The most tell statement from the report is regarding the EPA examining the full lifecycle of greenhouse gas emissions. "We believe that our lifecycle analysis is based on the best available science, and recognize that in some aspects it represents a cutting edge approach to addressing lifecycle GHG emissions."

El Morro Bay's Temporary Ghost Town

El Morro Bay's Temporary Ghost Town

The line where the sand meets the surf extended into the distance meeting the base of a sea cliff. That cliff marks the beginning of Laguna Beach. High atop that slowly eroding sliver of rock are multimillion dollar beach homes. As the eyes move back down to the sand we were treading on a line of smaller buildings can be discerned. In the distance the buildings, shoved against the rocky hill, looked like a mirage.

End of the Line In Sight for El Morrow Mobile Homes

Strolling cautiously closer, the glare from the sand dulls to reveal a line of mobile homes stretching off into the distance. Quite beach front bungalows, trailers with attached decks, spaced so close to one another that they appear to be one long massive compound. The silence that greets us is cut softly by the rhythmic crashing of wave on the sandy shore. The only objects cutting the wind blowing of the ocean are ourselves and the empty decks. Lonely window faces were the only thing staring out to the Pacific.

Coastal Panel's Vote Doom Trailer Park At Crystal Cove



Standing at the beginning of this row of vacant homes I wonder what happened. A still energy pervades the area, as if these homes are awaiting the return of their owners or someone to take them over. It felt more desolate and sad than the other areas of summer homes I have had the chance to visit. Peering over the decks of the first few units it was difficult to discern what had happened. Stray patio furniture and overturned BBQ pits were among the fishing gear and surfboard. Packages of food could be seen on the counters and in the opened cupboards.

Seaside Trailer Park Residents End Long Dispute



The first indicator of something being more amiss then a late summer start was the stairwells. Yanked from their permanent housings in the deck, they had been tossed onto the deck. The easiest path for anyone to return home severed like a mooring from a ship. It was more extreme than a simple tactic to stop a vandal.



But vandals find other ways to do their damage and leave their mark as broken windows being to punctuate the row of trailers.

Beachfront Tenants Lose Suit; Evictions Set



Between the homes graffiti, the other calling card of a common troublemaker, begins to tag the walls. Instead of the odd signatures that are the testament to a skilled tagger the walls bear the semblance of actual writing.

Morro Residents Get 1-Day Extension



A mixture of sadness and anger scrolled along the boards tell a story of losing a private place to enjoy the Pacific. To the casual passerby the destruction looked to be the work of the hidden visitors.

"El Morro will be in our hearts Forever & In Heaven"

Closer examination reveals a collective of people leaving their last mark on a life and place they were forced to abandon.

We will miss this house. OUR HOME!!

The danger of residing on public land is that eventually the private world someone creates will disappear. In its wake is disillusionment. Such is the case with El Morro Bay Mobile Home Park, an area of beauty transferred from one corporate entity to the State of California. , who slowly tugged the rug out from under the residents who had been there for decades.



“What the hell is that?” my companion asks pointing to a bloated, brown object under the deck of one of the homes. A real dead body populates this ghost town in the form of the rotting carcass of a seal. One imagines that this fellow lover of the Pacific knew that its time had come. Struggling out of the waves one last time it found a safe place to collapse one last time.



That is the only explanation for how far it ended up from the shore. Well beyond the high tide line with no sign of dragging, the seal had become an accidental metaphor of the end of an era for the El Morro Bay Mobile Home Park. Either that or the spirit animal of the residents of El Morro had come home to rest.



Reaching the end of the row of trailers we turn, walking back from where we came. The setting sun bathes our faces in its warm, blinding light as we pass the eerily quiet trailers one more time. Following in the footsteps of the former residents of El Morro Bay we took one more look back and left never to return again.

“el morro is a great place to be & live
You can get attached really easy
But just because the state is tearing it down
Doesn’t mean it’s not our home
El morro is our home and it always will be
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!”

El Morro Village is Finally Becoming El Moro Campground

Periodic Table of Awesoments

From the website Dapperstache. Funny stuff.
If you translate the true science behind it then the following observations become apparent:
- Beer is the most common. Frankly, I would prefer if Chocolate was the most common.
- We breathe Cheese. This is especially true for Americans and Europeans.
- We drink in Bacon and Cheese, which goes great with Beer.

One photo for each day in 2008 that I felt the need to peer through a viewfinder.

You can find the full set on Flickr.