Reimagine the Zodiac Cancer

The date of my birth resides in the most ill conceived sign of the Zodiac calendar. That would be the sign of Cancer. The name itself has a negative connotation. Cancer, the disease that slowly turns your cells against you wherein the only "cure" is to flood your body with radiation. While this is an apt metaphor for anyone who has become romantically entangled with my fellow tribe members, it is not a name to be proudly associated.

Then there is the animal assigned to Cancer, the crab. It is the most pathetic of the Zodiac creatures. In Greek mythology Hera had sent a crab to distract Hercules from defeating the Hydra. The crab scuttled over and nipped at the mighty Hercules' ankles who promptly turned around and crushed the crab with foot. Even before being assigned to the Zodiac Cancer was already being picked on by the bigger guys.

As a reward for its bravery, Hera gave the Cancer a place in the constellations. The irony of this astrological choice is that the constellation of Cancer does not actually cross into the night sky until August.

Whenever someone, including myself, states they are a Cancer the image that pops into my mind is a diseased crab scuttling around trying desperately not to get stepped on. Recently that image was replaced though.

A couple of months ago I was killing time wandering through the action figure aisle of Toys R Us. Among the usual rows of WWE, Star Wars, and the most recently blockbuster tie-ins was the most unusual action I had seen in quite a while.


Picking it up from the shelf I noticed that this creation was from McFarlane toys. Considering the source it didn't surprise me much that this toy was pretty scary looking.

The series name on the packaging was "Warrior of the Zodiac." This odd and rather frighening monster was supposed to represent the sign of Cancer. I looked at it again.


If Maximus from Gladiator and Ghengis Khan were used to genetically modify a crab this is what would happen.


Leave it to the slightly twisted minds of McFarlane to design a Cancer that will give your children nightmares. Finally, a image of the Zodiac sign that crushes the pathetic scuttling crab that is normally used.

So I dedicate this post to my fellow Cancers. The next time you need tougher image of our animal assigned to our time in the Sun and the Moon remember this image.

This is what a Cancer looks likes.