The Power of "I Don't Know"

Before leaving my previous profession as a telemarketing manager and returning to my prior occupation as a student I was deluged by questions.

"Why were the contacts so low?"
"What are the hours again?"
"When are our checks coming in?"
"Are these seats still available?"
"Who composed this?"
"I need to pen."
"How much does this pay?"
"Do you have enough people this week?"
"Did this person call for me?"
"What else has this performer been in?"
"What happened to sales yesterday?"
"Could we do something about how hot it is in here?"
"Can I talk to you for second [about something that really isn't that important]?"
"I am going to get fired this week?"
"Which series is that performance on?"
"Can we turn the heat on?"
"Someone called me."

And on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Almost everyday for 8-10 hours a day for six years.

By the way, this is not a statement to cause anyone to feel sympathy for me. It was the beginning of a revelation.

Sitting in the backyard, sensing my body cool off after an hour of running, I gazed up past the trees and into the clear blue sky. It was a moment of respite before launching back into more book work. Even though I knew there was much to work on once I went back inside I felt totally at peace.

Then my mind reflected back to a year ago when this moment of escape were limited to grabbing a slice of pizza on 37th Street and 7th Ave between the day and evening shift. This was usually after a constant barrage of questions for employees ("When is this person coming in again?"), the client ("Are we going to hit goal this week?"), the account executive ("How is hiring going?"), patrons ("How did you get me number?"), prospective employees ("Do you guys sell like tickets are something?"), and even the mailman ("What happened to the office across the hall?"). Once I had downed the slice I had enough time to walk around the streets of the Fashion District at rush hour before returning to work. The only environment that I can think of that would be less conducive for clearing your mind then Mid-town Manhattan at 5:00 would be a war zone. Once leaving this break I would start the evening shift off with whatever spin campaign we were supposed to be peddling to the employees that supposedly trusted me and then off to the phones. At that point it was pretty much the same thing as the day - a barrage of questions and requests.

As I reflected on this I came to the realization of how much of my job was doing everything possible to avoid the response "I don't know." The higher up the questions came the less you wanted or could afford to give that answer. Even at the bottom of the rungs you still wanted to answer all of their questions as accurately as possible. It was my job from bottom to top to make sure everyone knew everything they needed to know as quickly as possible. I became a master at picking up campaigns cold and being able to have a thorough knowledge of all aspects of it within a couple of weeks.

Fast forward to the present where I find myself in a completely opposite situation. The vast majority of the time the phrase "I don't know" is a golden opportunity. The fantastic thing about this is the instructor gets to teach and I get to learn. Quite the opposite of the situation that would have arisen if I said those three little works at work too often. There is an undeniable sense of relief in saying that I don't know what the hell I am doing. This sense of puzzlement is also reflected in most of my classmates. At work this would have scared the hell out of me, but here it is a relief. This is essentially what I go through everyday at school. It is also relatively true even after I have supposedly learned the information that was presented to me. As I got up and went back inside I reflected on how wonderful it was to be able to state in unequivalcable terms that I do not know what the hell I am doing.

During winter break, after an eight hour journey from Stockton to New York, the friend I was staying with commented on how refreshed I looked. It probably has much to do with not having to answer more questions on a daily basis than the White House Press Secretary.